I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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