Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
i think i just lost a toe
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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