Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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