I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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