i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
