they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
