If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
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