He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
