I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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