when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
