Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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