that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
