she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
