ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
