Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
