Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize