never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize