Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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