i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize