I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
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