I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
