i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You made out with two different species that night
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
