she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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