Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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