if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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