Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
