I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
