with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
