i need an iv and a liver transplant
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
