Apparently you make a good broom.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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