The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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