God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
