I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
you will always have a special place in my vag
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
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