Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
