Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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