3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
