And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
