Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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