I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
