Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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