You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
