He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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