I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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