So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
