My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
