And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize