He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
