I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
