I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize