I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
