pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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