I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize