she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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