We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
