Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
ugly people sure do ruin things
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
