kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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