You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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