Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry phaseshift hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(602): View more from Arizona

hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad

Fav 45 1189 9944
share tweet
(517): View more from Michigan

i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.

Fav 13 2932 1339
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(443): View more from Maryland

Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?

Fav 8 1257 2771
share tweet
(615): View more from Tennessee

If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face

Fav 9 4428 1167
share tweet
(614): View more from Ohio

the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift

Fav 19 4579 1643
share tweet
(516): View more from New York

will barter weed for kareoke machine...

Fav 2 1567 818
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(803): View more from South Carolina

She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.

Fav 12 837 1594
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(301): View more from Maryland

If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it

Fav 0 651 370
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?

Fav 0 64 10
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT