It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
