Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
