ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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