singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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