somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
