God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
