I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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